Faithfulness of God, Trusting God in hard times

When Denial Comes After Resurgence

As I was making her sleep around midnight, looking at her innocent face in the dim night light, my heart melted. I felt a sudden heartache and I cried for my daughter as I held her close to me and kissed her on her forehead. I recalled all the struggles and pain she has been through in the last seven years of her life. I felt a deep pain for her remembering about her diagnosis. I thought, I was much stronger emotionally but I was not. The pain seemed still fresh for the situation my child is in.

According to the Swiss-American psychiatrist named Elizabeth Kübler-Ross, there are 5 stages of grief: Denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance.

When we go through grief of a certain kind, our first reaction will be denial. We will be shocked and won’t be accepting the realities.

The second stage will be anger. We will feel angry at the situation, at people around us and sometimes at God for allowing the crisis.

The third one is bargaining. Secretly, we may make a deal with God in an attempt to postpone the crisis and the related pain.

The fourth stage is depression. The reality slowly sets in and we often feel sorry for ourselves and wonder why something like this could happen to us. The feeling of depression is often accompanied by the feeling of self-pity and of being a victim.

The fifth stage of dealing with grief is acceptance. We come to terms with the grief and begin to look to the future.

Once we have reached the acceptance stage in dealing with our grief, we move towards resurgence. In this phase we take full control of ourselves, our emotions, and the situation and begin to think about what we can do next to move ahead.

In relation to my daughter’s medical condition, I have been through almost all these stages and I was pretty much sure I was in the resurgence phase, as for quite a long time I could maintain my emotions, keep myself motivated through each day and keep my constant faith in God for her life. But a few days back, I had a relapse and it felt sudden and severe. I couldn’t hold myself anymore in the resurgence phase. I felt shattered.

My heart pained for her to the extreme that all I wanted to scream was; “God, why does my child have to suffer? why does she have to live such a difficult life? What is her fault? It isn’t fair that she is suffering? Why she gets to have such a dependent life and struggle every day?” As I held her close to me, I let my tears flow for her. For a moment, I couldn’t accept the hard realities of her life and I kept crying through the night. It seemed like I had almost gone back to the denial stage – all the way back….

However, in the midst of this sudden surge of grief, as I prayed for her, I remembered Jesus on the cross and the agony He had to go through. Was it fair that God had to send His son to die for my wrongdoings? Nope! It wasn’t fair that Jesus’s innocent blood to be shed for me, it wasn’t fair that He was mocked, stripped off His clothes, whipped, beaten and crucified on the cross ruthlessly. But it’s God’s love for me which caused Him to see the painful sight of His child suffering on the cross. His heart pained just the way my heart pains seeing my child suffer. But this was the way I was going to be accepted, forgiven and loved. God definitely cared for my pain and understood how I felt. This insight into my heart made me surrender to His sovereign plans for Jennie and to know that He loves her more than I do. Though I don’t have all the answers and can see only the half picture but I know the ONE who sees the full picture of her life. I just need to have faith in Him.

I fell asleep and woke up the next day with swollen eyes and a headache but relieved and consoled heart. And I no longer found myself in the denial stage but the resurgence stage again with a renewed hope and His just enough grace on my life for the very day. I am not sure if I will ever be fully in the resurgence stage. I may have the emotional relapse from time to time but this is where I will always need God’s mercy to carry me through. With Him by my side there will be His hope in between all these stages and no matter which stage I slip back to, I will always come back to the resurgence stage and see my pain in the light of His glory!

I pray, you too find His strength and assurance in those most hurting and questioning moments of your lives, experience His deep and abiding hope when you are weak in your burdens and see your pain in the light of His glory. And when you question ” why me Lord, it isn’t fair?” Let God’s mercy carry you through revealing each moment His greatest & painful sacrifice and selfless love for you!

“Weeping may remain for the night, but rejoicing comes in the morning”. Psalm 30:5

Encouragement, Trusting God in hard times

Chrysalis – A place of death and a new life

As a part of my son’s 3rd grade curriculum, he was to learn about the life cycle of a butterfly. So, the other day I was doing a little bit of research on it to teach him in a better way. Even though I knew the four stages of its life cycle, I never had a detailed probe into knowing much about butterflies. And most importantly, to teach him better, I needed to first understand it better 🙂

So, as I searched for some videos and pictures about the different stages of this tiny, beautiful creature, I was mostly fascinated with the 3rd stage of its growth. It’s the pupa which is also called “chrysalis”. Well, we all know that the caterpillar is to remain in the pupa for few days to be transformed into an adult butterfly. But there’s still something else interesting I have found about it.

If you open the chrysalis in the middle of the process, there is just some sticky liquid substance in there and not a caterpillar which is having a cosy nap inside the shell until it gets its wings. In fact, during this stage, the caterpillar’s old body dies and a new body begins to form. The caterpillar has to fall apart completely. And from this liquid state, it starts to put itself together to become the beautiful being it is designed to be.

And another amazing thing is the word “chrysalis”. It is derived from Greek which means “golden” because of the golden threads which surround the green of the chrysalis.

Chrysalis – The tough times of life

You probably have heard in many inspiring messages about this chrysalis stage and how it represents the tough times of our lives which are actually the transformation times for us. But most often, when we actually find ourselves in this phase, all we want is to come out of it, assuming that sufferings aren’t meant for the believers of Christ. Often times, we tend to devalue our chrysalis stage. But in reality, the very sufferings of our Saviour was the only perfect way for us through which we could know God and have a personal relationship with Him. There is a Cross right in the centre of the Gospel we believe in.

Chrysalis is the place of deep transformation

While stuck in the chrysalis stage, we keep on asking God to remove the uncomfortable and ugly looking shell of our hardships and grief from our lives. We want Him to change our circumstances but He wants us to be changed in the process of it.

Because, the deeper work within our souls takes place only being in the Chrysalis.

Our faith is refined being in the Chrysalis.

The most crucial life lessons are learnt being in the Chrysalis.

Our relationship with our Master Creator is deepened being in the Chrysalis.

The inessential parts of our character are shredded being in the Chrysalis.

And just the way the caterpillar is made into a beautiful butterfly being in this uncomfortable, dark and inactive place, you and I are best prepared for the very purpose of our lives being in the Chrysalis.

Do you find yourself stuck in the chrysalis?

I don’t know which metamorphosis stage you are in at present. If you have got your wings, praise God! but if you find yourself stuck in the Chrysalis, the place where you feel nothing is happening, where you see the darkness of your pain and hardships, where you feel like you are falling apart each day and where everything feels so stuck, dead and inactive, I want to encourage you to trust the process, surrender to it, embrace it and wait until the process works its best, re-creating you into everything you are meant to be, giving you the glorious wings of your purpose and reflecting the majesty of your Heavenly Father in and through your life.

And no matter how your chrysalis feels to you, remember it will always be covered with the golden threads of strength, assurance, love and grace of your Master Designer. He will be watching you throughout the process and trusting His ways, His plans and His heart of love in the midst of your chrysalis will be the ultimate way to your metamorphosis.

“Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance;  perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.” Romans 5:3-5

Faithfulness of God

You Will Get Through It

Recently I came across a beautiful story of a father and a daughter. A dear sister has sent the video to me as an encouragement and it truly touched my heart to the core. It wasn’t just a story to watch and forget but it also spoke an assurance to my heart.  

Once, a father and a daughter were driving home in a night and the father let the daughter drive the car. While they were on their way, a bad storm broke out. And the daughter being a new driver, felt a little bit scared.

She looked over at her father. She said, “Daddy, you think I should pull over to the side of the road and the father said, “No, no baby! Just keep on driving” so she kept on driving.

Continue reading “You Will Get Through It”
Faithfulness of God, God's unchanging Love, Special Parenthood

Will They Choose Me?

Most new things in his life are very stressful for him but this camp however was not. My 8 years old son, Asher, joined a three days kids’ camp online and seemed really excited about it. To my amazement, he did participate in it very well. There were action songs, games and Bible-based activities which he did with my help and actively involved himself in learning.

Whenever the winners’ names were announced, he waited with hope that his name would be called out too. Each time they announced the winners’ names he would turn to me and ask in excitement, “Mummy, will they choose me?” Consequently, in three of the activities he participated, his name wasn’t in the winners’ list. Seeing his gloomy face for not being chosen, I would assure him that among two hundred participants, they chose only the first 10 or 20 kids, you see the rest of the other kids aren’t winners too. But he was too determined and hopeful to be chosen.

Continue reading “Will They Choose Me?”
Encouragement, Faithfulness of God

When You Feel Unqualified

Have you ever felt unqualified for certain tasks which you have been appointed for or certain responsibilities which you ought to carry or certain roles you are expected to fulfil in your life?

I am not talking about educational qualifications but about feelings like when you thought to yourself “I am a misfit”, “I am not enough”, “someone does it better than me” or “I don’t have the right skills set” or maybe “I don’t have what it takes”. Such thoughts probably have rattled your mind especially when you failed to do certain jobs perfectly.  

I have also been feeling unqualified lately and the feelings are intense. I feel unqualified when I hit the publish button on my site to share my blog post. Comparing my writings with other wonderful bloggers and their crafting of words and the consistency they have in posting blog after blog every week, I wonder if “I am a misfit” in this brilliant world of prolific writers.

I feel unqualified when I teach Asher all his subjects and often get stuck at some of the lessons which I find tough for me to teach him. I doubt if I am the right teacher for him. I sometimes feel “I am not enough” and wish that he could be accepted in school and taught by well-qualified teachers.

I feel unqualified being a mother to my daughter. I do love her, and do everything to make her feel at ease but I still see her with no milestones and struggling hard even to sip water from a spoon. I feel “not the right mother to her” as my efforts, prayers, and tears aren’t gaining the desired outcomes for her. 

In the midst of all my feelings of being unqualified, I am reminded of a person from the Bible who felt unqualified too. When God told Moses that He was sending him to Pharaoh to bring the Israelites out of the Egypt, Moses’s answer clearly revealed that he felt totally unqualified for the task.

“But Moses said to God, “Who am I that I should go to Pharaoh and bring the Israelites out of Egypt?” Exodus 3:11

I love the way God gently assured him.

 And God said, “I will be with you. And this will be the sign to you that it is I who have sent you: When you have brought the people out of Egypt, you will worship God on this mountain.” Exodus 3:12

God promised Moses that He was with him. All Moses had to do was to show up, be available and trust God’s power instead of worrying about his ability of being the qualified candidate. We all know the remarkable outcome of Moses showing up and making himself available for the task: He was able to take the Israelites from Egypt with a magnificent victory.

And the same God assures us today with the same promise He made to Moses.

As I ponder on the beauty of God’s promise, I realize that it doesn’t matter how qualified I feel or don’t feel for the tasks which God has entrusted to me, because it’s not about my qualification but His strength which will sustain me at the end of the day. All I need to do is to show up, keep sharing my words with the world, be consistent in teaching my son, be there for my daughter and trust God with the rest.

Maybe like me you too have felt unqualified. Maybe it’s in your marriage, in your parenting journey, in your spiritual walk with God, in your workplace, in your attempts to reach your dreams or acquire new skill, or maybe in certain responsibilities which seem bigger than you.

Showing up may seem a painful process, feelings of inadequacy maybe real, the road you walk on may seems unending and the journey may feel tiring and challenging every single day. But let your heart be encouraged with the this beautiful truth that you aren’t alone. It’s not you who decides your ability but it’s Him who believes in you. And being unqualified will only show His power more and more through your life. God promises you that He is with you. Will you keep showing up and trust Him with the rest?


Your Dreams Vs God’s Plans

A few days back, I was preparing to speak in a children’s Bible class. The story I chose was a fictional one but it had a beautiful message to be given at the end. Since the meeting was held through a Zoom call, I decided to show the visuals along with the story and a craft activity for the children to comprehend.

It was a story about three trees and their dreams. The first tree wanted to be a treasure chest and have all the precious gems, gold and silver kept inside it. The second tree wanted to be a mighty ship and wished to have mighty kings travel in it across the sea. The third tree wanted to grow to be the tallest tree in the forest. It wanted people to look up to its branches and think about God.

Continue reading “Your Dreams Vs God’s Plans”
Faithfulness of God

When Unedited is Unaccepted

As our children ministry activities are on hold due to the present situation, a thought came to me to start the lessons for kids online. But the shooting part- like facing camera and talking to it pretending as if talking in the room filled with kids, felt strange in the beginning. I made a lot of mistakes while speaking in front of the camera but I can also say that I am improving week by week. It felt great sometimes but sometimes it didn’t when I didn’t do it the right way and my mind went blank in between, when I needed water for my parched throat frequently, and when I struggled to find the right Hindi words and couldn’t speak fluently in one stretch.

The best part of making the videos is that we have many options and no matter how many errors are there, we can cut that part by editing and present a flawless video using different effects, lights, and music. So it’s assuring that only the good parts of the production will be presented. Nevin does the shooting and editing work and I make sure he edits it in such a way as to make the video attractive and enjoyable for the kids. And I also make sure that even my slightest mistake shouldn’t be revealed anywhere.

I wonder, how many times we do the same thing with our lives too. We want only the good part of our character to be shown to others. We are conscious about not revealing our errors and the “not so good” side of ourselves to people. We wonder, whether they will still accept us and like us if they come to know about the imperfect side of us. So we try our best to cover it up and show the good version of ourselves to the world. But the reality soon sinks in. Unlike the video, our “errors” can’t be hidden at all times. Sooner or later, our feelings like our hurts, anger, frustrations, disappointment, regrets, envy, doubts, feeling of being overlooked by others, feeling of injustice done to us, feelings of all sorts of negativity which sometimes rattle our mind in some most challenging & hard days get uncovered. And our “unedited version” gets unaccepted by the world.

In the case of video making, it is acceptable to edit the video and cut short the unnecessary part of it to make it more presentable and acceptable but in real life, editing the different aspects of our character will not work. In the efforts of perfecting, presenting, pretending, posing, pleasing, proving and performing for others to gain their approval or to keep certain relationships unruffled or to hold on to our “good version” hard enough, we may fail to be our true selves.

But here’s the beautiful truth we often overlook when we try hard to win the approval of the world.

God doesn’t see what the world sees!

To give you its acceptance and make you qualified on its measuring stick, the world will only look at the outer appearance – your good performance and everything which is acceptable about you. But God sees your heart. He sees all your feelings, even if they are not so good some days. He sees your imperfections, He sees that “not so good” side of you, He also sees your tears, your pains, your joy and the “good” side of you. He sees both sides of your HEART and He still accepts you the way you are.

God accepts even the unedited version of you!

We struggle hard every day to present our “good version” to the world but we fail many times to hold that “good version” for a long time, as we know deep inside that it’s not all about us. There is more, there is this “not so good part”. There are weaknesses, there are failures and there are many imperfections too. The world may not accept you always, especially when you fail to please it, but rest assured that your Heavenly Father will. What matters the most is that you only strive to please Him and know that He alone values and accept the “Real You” and He accepts even the “unedited version” of you.

God's unchanging Love

When Rejection Crawls In…

She seemed just an answer to my prayer for a good friend. She showed a lot of care, often asked about my children, always assured me of her prayers, shared her feelings and thoughts, shared her prayers and listened to mine just as a good Christian friend will do, supported me, encouraged me, and even considered me her very close friend but one fine day she just walked away. Even though there wasn’t any kind of dispute between us and things were just going fine, she suddenly stopped the contact. I wrote to her but she didn’t reply. I messaged once again but she didn’t check it till today even when being online. For months I felt miserable and shocked. I couldn’t accept that someone whom I considered one of the nicest people in my life would just leave me without even saying a word or letting me know what my fault was. I felt side-stepped and slowly rejection crawled in.

Why does it hurt so much when people do things which make us feel rejected? Why wouldn’t the hurt go away? It’s because we are hit in an already bruised place. Because the past hurts of rejections are still unhealed. And those wounds will stop us from moving forward with ease. Because rejection isn’t just a one-time feeling, it’s more like constant stabbings on the unhealed wounds from the past…

……And, I still had those bruised places of my past incidents of rejections where I felt “I don’t matter”: When my 8th grade teacher rudely ask me to leave the dance group because I am left-handed and couldn’t do some of the dance moves with perfection; when my 11th grade chemistry teacher threw my practical note book out of the chemistry lab and yelled at me because it had errors in the chemical equation; when the HOD, where I was working as a volunteer in mission work, never appreciated me for my works as she did to other girls in the department because I belonged to a different state; when my father didn’t encourage me when I wanted to join youth ministry to carry on my new found passion to serve God through my life; when a teammate in my outreach team treated me with hatred and spread rumors about me; when during the early years of my marriage, my husband couldn’t understand my heart for the Kingdom work & my calling, it felt a lonely walk ; when my close relative felt embarrassed because of my daughter’s medical condition and often blamed me for her sickness and considered it as a curse from God on my life.

My friend’s unkind action just felt like another stab on those bruises. It felt like a sign that “I am not accepted”. It felt like a secret message that “I really don’t matter”.

For most of the time, I thought the only solution for not feeling rejected by people is to avoid friendships, avoid being very close with people, avoid trying new things and avoid even expressing my feelings and thoughts with others. But by doing so, I would not fix the issue permanently. If I shut myself from others, I might as well miss out on the good friends, good ideas, opportunities and like-minded people who would stand by me and believe in me. Avoidance may seem a protective shield from rejection but it won’t heal the bruised places. There had to be a better way, a permanent fixing, an ample healing and a discovery of a whole new perspective.

Recently, when I was reading Lysa Terkeurst’s book “Uninvited”, I found my answers, I found a better way, I found a healing and a renewed perspective to perceive things through. It felt like God was speaking to my hurting heart and wondering mind to see life through His way.

She writes that, “Rejection isn’t just an emotion we feel. It’s a message that’s sent to the core of who we are, causing us to believe lies about ourselves, others and God. We connect an event from today to something harsh someone once said or did. That person’s line becomes a label. The label becomes a lie, and the lie becomes a liability in how we think about ourselves and interact every relationship.

The Line – “I don’t want you” becomes the label “you aren’t accepted”.

The Label – “you aren’t accepted” becomes the lie “you aren’t worthy”.

The Lie – “You aren’t worthy” becomes a script of self-rejection and it unleashes doubts, hesitancy and many other liabilities that hinder our present relationship.

Thus, rejection steals the best of who we are by reinforcing the worst of what’s been said or done to us. As a result, relationships feel unsafe, opportunities feel risky and life feels difficult. We carry on but this sense of rejection settles into the core of who we are.

The problem isn’t the people, the problem lies within us as we hold on to things which won’t give us stability. We try to search our approval from the wrong places. We base our acceptance on people’s constantly changing actions, words and applauds for us. It’s okay to need people but some of our biggest disappointments are the result of our expectations we have of others that they can’t even possibly meet.

While we are busy trying to earn love and acceptance from people, we often forget the truth that only God’s love is complete enough to give us stability, and has power to heal our hurts. He waits every day, with every answer we need, every comfort we crave, every affection we are desperate for while we look everywhere but at Him.

We do things keeping God in mind but not really spending time getting refilled by Him and His abundant love. We think we are connecting with Him, but in all honestly, we let the world stir up our deep affection, decide our worth and give us approval.

“And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, 18 may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to GRASP how wide and long and high and deep is the LOVE OF CHRIST, 19 and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the FULLNESS OF GOD. Ephesians 3:17 – 19  

At the core of who we are, we crave the acceptance that comes from being loved. To satisfy this longing, we will either be graspers of God’s love or grabbers of people’s love. If we grasp the full love of Christ, we won’t grab at other things to fill us. Fullness comes to us when our hearts are aligned with Him. When we truly abide, delight and dwell in Him, He will satisfy our inmost needs of acceptance. When we let this truth settle deep down in our hearts, we won’t find ourselves pleading others for our acceptance and instead we will start living from the full assurance of His love. We will rip out those hurtful feelings of rejection and replace them with a new solid understanding of our true worth which is found in Him.

“I am loved” will be the very first thought of our everyday life no matter what people say or do to us. With full confidence in His unchanging love, we will invite others in our lives, firmly believe in our dreams, have a poised character and a true sense of our worth. And it’s the place, it’s the right perspective and it’s the profound principle from which we will live our life loved and treasured always “.

I don’t know in what forms rejection has crawled into your heart, but I am sure it did at some point where all you felt was unloved, misunderstood, betrayed, avoided, left alone, unimportant and offended. When you gave your best, the best was never enough for someone, when you put 100 percent into a relationship, all you got back was just 50 percent, when you tried to do something new, you didn’t get the much needed applauds from others , you found that the people you love, are celebrating others but you, when you shared your dreams with people close to you, they failed to understand the depth of it, or maybe when you made all efforts to keep those friendships, still people walked away from you.

How will you respond? Will you let those hurts settle deep in your heart or will you allow God’s truth and His love to get rooted in there?

Remember rejection will only crawl in when we allow it to:).  We have the choice, the power and the truth to let go of the hurts, and let the fullness of God’s love walk into our hearts. Let’s release our grips on the unstable things we were holding on to and let’s return back to His passionate embrace. Let’s be graspers of His love alone and let’s rewrite the script of our life’s story for His glory!


In – Between

It feels like our fast paced life has suddenly come to a halt. Just a month back, every one of us was engaged with our daily life, work, travels, plans and schedules just to find out this month, that nothing seems to be working the way we were anticipating. The rapidly spreading coronavirus has made the whole world get reversed. And for most of us, it’s getting a bit challenging to adopt to this new normal life with all peace and ease. The lock downs, the social distancing and the precautions we need to take to avoid the spread of the virus feel a very hard task and mostly inconvenient with each passing day. All of us long to return to our normal lives as soon as possible.

It’s so much of an unknown season where none of us can predict what the future holds. The news channels and social media are filled with rising numbers of confirmed cases and deaths. There is still no vaccine available for the virus. The poor people of our country are suffering the most. Our kids are trapped between four walls. There are predictions of community spread, more deaths and more chaos we will face due to the effects of this virus in the coming days. It feels so much like we are standing in the in –between. In between the life which was moving smoothly before the pandemic hit and the life which we will have after the pandemic gets under control.

The predictable In –between will feel easy, thrilled and promising when we know with certainty what the future holds, when we know the better outcome that awaits. But how should we respond to the in – between which has got no known outcome, favorable possibilities or a slight glimpse of a healthy environment in future?  How should we live in this season of turmoil where there is a big question mark regarding our health, our finances, the safety of our beloved ones and the well-being of the entire nation? How should we respond in this in –between season of uncertainty?………

Jesus’s disciples felt the same way after Jesus’s death. He was mocked, lashed, ripped of His clothes, crowned of thorns and nailed cruelly on the cross. Their Messiah was taken away from them. The miracle maker Himself was laying behind the closed tomb. The hope giver Himself was dead. There was grief all over Jerusalem because the one who came to save them was crucified. Weeping, uncertainties, disappointments and heartaches could be felt all over the place as Jesus was crucified.

“It is finished!” Then he bowed his head and gave up his spirit. John 19:30

They were in between the time of Jesus’s death and the day of His resurrection. Life felt measurable. Grief was crushing their heart, distress was filling their minds and no one knew what the future held. No one knew how to respond during this in between season. All they had was His promise of resurrection to cling on until they could see Him face to face.

“When they came together in Galilee, he said to them, “The Son of Man is going to be delivered into the hands of men.  They will kill him, and on the third day he will be raised to life.” And the disciples were filled with grief”. Matthew 17:22-23 

Still this was a very painful time for most of them as they couldn’t believe that He would be raised to life. They couldn’t see the life beyond His death. As they had no idea how the resurrection would take place. Probably their human minds couldn’t imagine a dead person raising up to life. They probably felt lonely and uncertain in this time of grief as Jesus laid in the tomb.

Yet the promise keeper, the miracle maker, the hope giver, the Savior of the world, rose fulfilling the promise He made with them. He had conquered the darkness of death and risen to life. Their Messiah appeared to them giving them a new hope and a promising future.

“Don’t be alarmed,” he said. “You are looking for Jesus the Nazarene, who was crucified. He has risen! He is not here. See the place where they laid him.” Mark 16:6

For us, Good Friday is just over and we wait for Easter Sunday to be celebrated. In our churches since our childhood, we know that we are to remember Christ’s passion & sacrifice on the day of Good Friday and to celebrate His resurrection on Easter Sunday. But no one tells us what should be done on Saturday – the in between season of grief & joy. No sermon is preached on how to survive the day between death and the resurrection.

The Saturday (the in –between season that we are in today) should be the hope day🙂

……..We hope for a better tomorrow as we know that the ultimate tomorrow, the hope of abundant life, healing and restoration is made possible by Jesus’s sacrifice on the Cross. We believe that God is in control of the world He created. We hope that He has plans for our future and the in –between season will not last forever. We hope that He will never forsake us in the valleys of death. We hope that light will surely shine through darkness. And when our hope is in His promises, His power and His sovereignty, it gives us mental and emotional strength to get through the in –between season amidst all the fears and uncertain situations around us.

So, things are challenging definitely, but let’s savor His hope and cling to His promise of resurrection; resurrection from the uncertainties, from fear, from this hard in –between season and from the deadly virus which is spreading over the world till we get to the other side – to our normal and smooth going life again, continually abiding in His grace…

“And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast”. 1 Peter 5:10

” Because He Lives, We can Face Tomorrow”

Blessed Easter!

Stay safe

Special Parenthood

To the Mother Whose Sobs are Unheard..

In the bliss of her motherhood journey which newly had begun, she dreamt the loveliest dreams as she cuddled her baby in her arms. The girl child was the answer to her secret prayers to God. She felt immensely joyful admiring the innocent and cutest look of her baby girl. She dreamt of her tiny feet running on the floor, her curly hair adorned with clips & ribbons, her frilled frock swaying as she would walk, her lovely eyes gazing at her mother and her giggles & laugh echoing around the house as she would play with her brother and father. She imagined her family to be the happiest place in the world maybe, with two kids in her arms with no worry or fear; it seemed nothing but a splendid blessings from above.

The heartaches which were about to come her way were unknown. She was unprepared for the tempest she would face for endless days. She was unaware of the news which would rip her soul apart. She was naïve about the darkest night waiting to haunt her mind with fright. In the blink of an eye, her cutest & blissful moments with her baby were ruthlessly snatched away by the daunting news she never imagined in her wildest dreams to be true. Her once serene life was disturbed with frightening alarm and it seemed like it would never be peaceful again. Her finest dreams were crushed under the fear of this unknown route, leaving her in agony, in sobs, and in the harshest plight of her soul.

In a fraction of second, her life flipped from a beautiful castle to stormed rubble, leaving her with anguish, with a seizing & crying baby in her arms and awful pounding in her heart. It was heart wrenching too for her to carry her baby through the hospital corridors day after day for one or other test or procedure. Painful for her was to see the needle pricks on the little thighs, the merciless insertion of cannulas on the tiny hands and the numerous blood tests that followed every single week, taking every ounce of strength and life from her helpless baby.

How could a mother’s heart feel numb to the endless sufferings of her innocent child? All she wished was to have wings like an angel, to carry her baby away from all the pain and sickness to a quiet place where she would feel comfort, soothe and calm.  

Her days, weeks, months and years were spent caring for her girl. Walking through the furnace of criticism, unacceptance and denial, her days filled with loneliness, silence and withdrawal as her life didn’t match with other mothers. Even if she wished to be one among all, her destiny chose her to stand apart. Her life was given the hardest mission to complete. She was sent on a journey which she never thought she would choose; she reached a destination which she never had expected! Only one choice was left to her: accept the destination with joy or accept it anyway.

There have been many times when she greeted the moon and the sun without a closed eyelid in between, some by hospital beds, some through prayerful tears and some with her seizing and crying baby on her lap. She cried, prayed & shed every bit of a tear she could at God’s feet until she felt solace and calm. Many times she begged God to heal her baby asking Him to alter His plan.

She spent her nights staring in the dark, she sacrificed her wishes, her comfort and the young years of life behind closed doors caring for her child, holding her in her arms, soothing her into a peaceful nap, feeding her, grooming her and talking to her just like a little girl who would play and talk with her doll and wouldn’t care if the doll couldn’t talk… With each passing day, unknowingly though, she fell in love with this gift she received from above and began cherishing it with all that she could. The gift was meant to be a bridge that would connect many aching souls to her own.

Silencing every sob, hiding every sorrow under a smile, ignoring every question, blame & criticism, overlooking every eye that stared, she carried and cared for the baby she had. Neither with the hope to have their sympathy nor with the belief of gaining their approval, she appeared to the world just the way she was, with a determination to love her child and accept the way she was destined to be. At the same time she asked a question to her own soul, “Didn’t God accept me as imperfect as I was?” So I will accept and love my child just the way she was given to me. The world may see only her deformed frame, but I will only look at her beautiful heart.