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When Dots Don’t Go Away

I felt frustrated over my lack of knowledge about the Zoom app’s settings. When it was Asher’s turn to present his video about Geography, the video wasn’t audible on the shared screen. In a much-panicked state, I tried but couldn’t quite figure out what went wrong. I felt embarrassed on that day. I began to criticize myself for being so dumb. I didn’t turn on my video for the rest of the session. I wanted to hide. The only thought that was crossing my mind was, “what would other moms in the home school community be thinking about my lack of technical skills??” 

Well, that was not the first time I criticized myself. I have been doing it often whenever I felt I was not measuring up. Whenever I felt I was not doing my best. Whenever I compared myself with others. Whenever I thought I was not being an efficient educator to my son or not being a good parent or just a person in general. And recently, I’d allowed my lack of technical skills to define myself and ruin my entire day.

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