Home-schooling my son has been a lonely and daunting journey for me for the last three years. I can’t tell you the number of times I wanted to quit as there were times I just couldn’t make it successfully through the day.
I had always felt inadequate being his teacher. My graduate studies are incomplete, which made me doubt even more my abilities as a better educator. I had tried my best to teach him but I was always concerned that he might miss out on the essential things in his studies which only a proficient teacher can teach.
He is being home-schooled by me because he was denied admission in schools due to his inattention issues. It was disheartening to see him being rejected. The rejection could make things even emotionally difficult for a 6 year-old. I didn’t want his gifts and skills to be trampled on before they blossom. So, I needed to take initiative to continue his studies despite my challenges.
These years I have been in a fog of confusion. Even as I felt lonely, my son felt lonely too, as he couldn’t be a part of any school and have friends. I have been praying and searching for a suitable school, or an experienced home-schooling family which might guide me along. But there wasn’t any evident result of my persistent search or answer to my prayers.
As his school year increased, so increased my anxiety. But still, I made up my mind to put in extra hours to study his syllabus so I could help him in his learning.
A couple of weeks ago, I received a phone call from a Christian Home-schooling community which is based in the US. I had inquired about their program while searching about home-schooling on Google. The person who called me was very kind-hearted. She was the Support Representative for India. She explained to me about their program and very patiently listened as I shared my concerns regarding Asher.
They have their home-schooling community in 47 different countries across the globe and surprisingly, this year for the first time they are starting it for India. I had finally found the right place! My hopes were up but not for so long, as the fees and the cost of the study materials weren’t affordable for us. And I was ready to quit this opportunity.
But surprisingly, we still got registered in this community and their learning program.
Since it is a Christian Home-schooling Program and its vision is to support and facilitate the home-schooling families, the Support Representative assured me of her guidance and support in educating Asher. The home-schooling families of the same community will be helping us with the books and we just needed to pay the registration fees.
Even if there is a long way to go, but now, I have a direction with a roadmap to move ahead. We have a specific plan on studying the subjects. I am getting training to teach him in a better way, we have connected with other 12 Indian Christian home-schooling families, we have a well- curated syllabus which focuses on Christ-centred worldview and most importantly, we finally belong…belong to God’s big family.
I know this blog post may sound more like a Sunday morning church testimony but through sharing this, I want to encourage you my friend to keep moving. Don’t give up on something just because you don’t see the desired results or a clear way ahead. Keep showing up even if it gets hard sometimes. Keep doing what is required of you. Walk alone if you got to. But keep seeking what you believe in your heart, because God does reward our persistence and the desires of our hearts in His time. He does make a way when it seems like there isn’t any way. He does see our efforts and even our tears which are shed behind closed doors.
Quitting will only stop us from experiencing the way beyond. Quitting will only deprive us of experiencing God’ favour, His provisions and His intrinsic ways. And quitting will only keep us away from the fruit of our labour. You never know, maybe, you are closer to your miracle than you think.
In the loneliest and the most trying time of your life, do remember that you belong!